Before I begin, let me just say that I realize that writing an article about the feminine ideal (whilst being a man) is about as silly as a woman writing an article about how to please a man. But that doesn’t stop those harpies over at Cosmo, so it won’t stop me either.
In my former Pensive post, Gender Traitors, I mentioned in passing both that women had things that they were better at than men (albeit, far fewer than the reverse), and also that today’s women are not currently using their femininity to its fullest potential. This is the article I promised my faithful lady readers. I call you ladies, for the average American woman (read: bitch) would have stopped reading by now. If you remain, you are that fortuitous and hardy bunch that I refer to as ladies. Be forewarned though, ladies, you may indeed still possess the capacity to be offended by some things found in this article. If your reflection in the mirror offends you, work out and eat better. Likewise, if the truth spoken by a person (that happens to be a man) offends you, then you must change yourself… or ignore it. The latter, of course, only leads to ignorance – so choose wisely.
Western females of today (keeping in mind that there are still some South American, Eastern European, and Asian females that do not subscribe to this attitude) have long since adopted what I refer to as a “Princess Complex” – that, the world is owed to them for nothing in return except their presence (and not even that if they don’t feel like it).
After a certain age, that PC dies down somewhat (though never fully dying), but is replaced with the horrendous habit of demanding equality with a man. It is not horrendous for the fact that equality is desired, but rather that it is never expected to be earned. A woman wants to be paid for working like a man – while still working like a woman. Men work harder, ladies. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll agree. For example, I can’t think of any female construction workers, bricklayers, or roofers. You know why? Those jobs are hard – as well as requiring a decent amount of skill. Women don’t want to do hard jobs – they just want to be paid the same as those that do.
You can’t have your cake and eat it too, ladies. This applies to the dating world as well – you can’t expect to tease a man with the prospect of sex (Which, let’s be honest, is what dating is.) and have him spend as much of his hard-earned money on you as he would’ve spent just simply hiring a “professional”… and then you not expect to “pay out”. Don’t get me wrongly here, either! I in no way endorse rape or anything even approaching it! However, I do find fault with a bitch (rightly called) who only goes out with a man because she’s hungry or wants to see a movie – never intending to recompense him for his time and expense in the slightest. That’s fraudulent, ladies – and you know it! If you aren’t at least willing to kiss a man at the end of any date, then you should be willing to pay for your half of it! You’re not a princess. You’re not special. He’s not paying for your company; that’s what escorts are for – and guess what? At least they’re good at what they do.
Also, I’m not suggesting women sleep with everyone. That’s a quick way to get a reputation that you don’t want. All I’m endorsing here is honesty. If you’re not sure how you feel about a guy, “go dutch” (go out as friends)! If you’re paying your way when you go out with a guy, he should have zero expectations. When you’re ready for him to foot the bill, you should at least be ready to make out with him. Fair is fair.
And if you want real equality, ladies, don’t expect men to open doors for you or give up their seat for you on the bus or subway. If we’re all equal, you can stand just as well as a man!
I make that final drastic point in order to segue into how it should be in America, and how it could be again…
Ladies – I know this is tough, but – admit your weakness. In order to be treated as a lady, one must be weaker than a man. If you feign equality, don’t be surprised when all the special frills that go along with being a lady disappear. Me personally? I fight for the rights of true ladies. This includes preferential treatments such as: gentlemen rise from their seats when you enter a room, gentlemen will open doors for you and allow you to pass through first, gentlemen will make sure you are seated properly before sitting with you to eat or talk, gentlemen offer their seats to you on crowded public transportation, gentlemen will help you out with pretty much anything that has to do with physical exertion, your personal defense, or personal protection, and you are given priority seating in lifeboats in the case of a shipwreck. Yeah, I know the last one’s a little dated, but shipwrecks could technically still happen.
Men are typically a charitable bunch. If we see someone in need of assistance, we are generally quick to help out. It’s in our nature. Ladies, you shoot yourselves in the collective foot to pretend that you don’t need (or worse, don’t desire) assistance. The average lady is a delicate flower – as beautiful as she is fragile – and you will find your average gentleman to be an apt and willing gardener, who tends to your needs without hesitation. If you are a lady, that is.
These are common traits you will find in a lady:
* She is quiet in public – but never to be stubborn – merely because she has the decorum to be reserved.
* If she has a man, she supports him unquestionably in public and private – both when he is present and when he is not.
* If she disagrees with her man, she asks about it in private, and never in a disagreeable manner.
* She is both chaste and chased, admired and desired, but is selective in who she gives her time to.
* She never speaks or interrupts when a man is speaking. She waits cheerfully for her turn, and her word is therefore all the more anticipated.
* She is delicate in word and action, thus promoting both the recognizing of her status as a lady and her treatment as such.
* She keeps her household – not as a chore, but as an honor – for she alone can turn a house into a home.
* She is attentive to both the care of and the instruction of her children, and would see daycare as an insult.
* She doesn’t work, unless she is single – and therefore without the care of a proper gentleman.
If all the women in America were ladies (vice the majority, who are bitches), then I would have absolutely no problem with the divorce courts proceeding the way they do. If a woman were helpless in the job market without the support of a man, then there would be a precedent (as there once was) for taking half of a divorced man’s money. However, when the job market is freely open to both men and women, then divorce proceedings consisting of any more than “Okay, we’re done… who’s the best of us to look after the kids?” are based on nothing more than pure avarice and unbridled greed.
There’s more to this, I know – and perhaps I can expound on it at a later time, but I really do need to work on my book today.
